Now You're Gone
by Ronnie West
Summary: Gilbert and Matthew are in the prime of their relationship, but one trip to Germany has torn it to pieces. Now Gilbert is dead and Matthew is finding the will to live harder and harder to find each day. It doesn't help that Gilbert's ghost is now constantly beside him, either. PruCan, Hetalia AU. Definitely not recommended for the weak hearted.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there~! This is obviously a PruCan story, so I guess I'll just restate the basic summary.**

**Gilbert and Matthew are in the prime of their relationship, but one trip to Germany has torn it to pieces. Now Gilbert is dead and Matthew is finding the will to live harder and harder to find each day. It doesn't help that Gilbert's ghost is now constantly beside him, either.**

**This story is probably not for the weak hearted, so prepare yourself a happier fanfiction so you can drive the sadness away~**

* * *

**Chapter One:**

"And I'll be in the main entrance to pick you up in a few days, alright?" Matthew asked, holding the cellphone up to his ear as he nervously chewed on his lip. He steered the wheel into a turn, but he was driving as slow as possible. What if something were to happen to him? He really couldn't be sure.

Gilbert chuckled softly as he hauled his backpack onto the conveyer belt, watching it for a moment before speaking. "I'll be fine, Mattie. You just go home and get some rest, and in on Wednesday I'll be back from Munich just like I promised." He stretched for a moment or two, looking around the airport. "Damn, this place is confusing..." He mumbled under his breath as he looked at the flights. New York, France...Germany! Good, he hadn't booked the wrong flight... He would usually do something like that.

"You can't be sure of that!" He scolded softly before sighing. He flinched as a car behind him began honking his horn and he gripped the wheel a little tighter, having no choice but to speed up a little. "You call me as soon as you get there, mister!" He demanded with a small smile, stifling a laugh. He didn't know why, but he loved teasing Gilbert, as well as Gilbert loved teasing him.

Gilbert grinned wide as he sat down in one of the seats. "I promise I'll call you, alright? I'll be back before you know it, Matthew." He glanced up and heard a voice over the intercom. "Oh shit, I gotta go, alright? But I'll be back soon, I swear!" He said quickly, getting up and rushing to where he was supposed to get on the airplane.

"You better!"

"I love you, Matt."

"I love you too, Gil..."

And with that, Matthew hung up the phone with a small sigh and shoved it in his pocket. He pulled into the driveway before peeling his hands off the wheel and looking down in his lap. He just had a very bad feeling about this... He bit his lip a little and slowly got out of the car, heading back inside.

It felt so quiet without Gilbert there. He swore he almost heard his booming voice and he smiled slightly, but quickly shook his head. Hopefully, he'd get the phone call in the middle of the night, so he would have to stay up... But Matthew couldn't determine himself to stay up worth a damn, so by ten at night, he was already in the shower, scrubbing the grime of the day off of himself. He let the warm water fall gently upon his face. It felt nice... He swore, he could've fallen asleep right there.

Little did he know, Gilbert was already dead.

* * *

_4:37 PM_

Gilbert sat down in one of the seats on the airplane. There was barely anyone there for some reason. He stared out the window with a bored sigh, resting his elbow on the armrest. Maybe he shouldn't have gone on the flight. Ludwig could visit him some other time, right? He shook his head. No, it was his little brother, for Christ's sake. He at least had to visit him. He hadn't even seen him in over a year. He'd just never really been without Matthew for this long of time... A few days.

The airplane suddenly started to move down the runway and Gilbert quickly stared out the window with childlike amusement. After about thirty seconds, it started lifting and he felt slight pressure, but not much. Within a few minutes they were high up in the sky. He smiled and relaxed in his seat.

About fifteen minutes in, the plane began shaking slightly and there was some commotion. Gilbert frowned and sat up a little in his seat before looking out the window. Oh no. One of the engines had caught fire. The other passengers noticed this and began shouting and screaming. A frantic voice came over the intercom and time seemed to slow down around them. The oxygen masks quickly dropped from the ceiling of the plane from each seat and everyone put them on quickly. Except for Gilbert. He was still in shock.

It was so sunny about five minutes ago, when did the sky fill with clouds...? When did lightening begin all around? He stared out the window and soon realized that there was absolutely no way that he could get out of this with his life. "I love you, Matthew..." He whispered softly to him. "I'm sorry." He murmured quietly to himself, clenching his fists together tightly as he squeezed his eyes shut.

How would Matthew take the news that he was dead...? He knew Matthew was very strong emotionally, but there was no way he could get over this. They loved each other. They both loved each other with all of their hearts. He wasn't concerned about himself more than he was concerned about Matthew. Not by a long shot.

But wait. Maybe there was a way that he could get out of this. So many people had been survivors in plane crashes, so why couldn't he? Sure, he'd get a scolding from Matthew, but at least he would escape with his life! With that motive, he opened his tear filled eyes and smiled.

But right now, he just needed to focus instead of think. He relaxed slightly in his seat and gripped the armrests tightly before reaching up and putting the mask on his face, making breathing easier for him as the plane plummeted towards the Earth.

The plane collided with the Earth moments later.

Everything was a mess. People screaming. Gilbert held on tight, but he suddenly swerved sideways, his neck hitting one of the armrests – hard. His life flashed before his eyes, most of it was with Matthew, and his beautiful violet eyes were the last thing he saw before the world went black for Gilbert Bielschmidt.

Death. It was excruciating pain – like no other pain that anyone's ever gone through before – for two split seconds before peace came, and a light flashed before him. It felt like he was floating for a short time. It felt so peaceful, and he felt great. Refreshed. Like all of the stress of his life had been lifted off of his shoulders. And the floating was oh so peaceful as well... He couldn't see anything, just darkness. His eyelids refused to open for the time being, but he was completely okay with this... He knew he was dead. There was no doubt in his mind that he wasn't as he floated, probably somewhere better. Because death felt much better than living.

* * *

Matthew was already in bed when he got the phone call. The phone call from the hospital that would announce his Prussian boyfriend's death.

The obnoxious phone rang and rang, vibrating on the end table next to the bed as the Canadian shifted around tiredly. He yawned a little and sat up, scratching the back of his head. He glanced over at the phone, automatically assuming it was Gilbert. But it wasn't. It was a number that he'd never seen before. He considered ignoring it, but whoever would be calling at this hour had better had something important to say. That or it was just a stupid prank call.

Matthew sighed softly and snatched his glasses, putting them on the bridge of his nose as he answered the phone, putting it up to his ear. "Hello...?" He answered tiredly, a quiet yawn following as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Matthew Williams, correct?" Came a female voice on the phone. There were a few frantic voices in the background, as if someone were dying. "Your...ah...boyfriend, Gilbert Bielschmidt is in the hospital right now."

"What?!" He asked, quickly beginning to get dressed. "What happened, which hospital is he at?!" He asked loudly, sounding on the verge of tears as he began to pull his shoes on.

"Calm down, but I'm afraid there's nothing we can do..." She said quietly after a few moments, her voice sounding a little distant. "When the plane crashed, the force of one of the arm rest had broken his spine. He's broken the Cervical Vertebrae in his neck, so he died instantly. I'm sorry."

Matthew quickly hung up and dropped the phone to the floor. His heart had temporarily stopped and everything seemed to slow down. Tears quickly stung at the corners of his eyes, and there was no use trying to hold them back. They streamed down his cheeks and his knees wobbled, instantly becoming weak as he fell to the ground. He banged his fists repeatedly on the floor as his mind spun. He thought of the things that he could have done, but right now, he was just in complete shock as his tears continuously dripped onto the floor as he sat down on his knees in a complete daze. He stared at the wall, as if it had all the answers for him.

How...? How did it come to this...? Matthew had known all along that something bad was going to happen on that flight, but he didn't know he would die! Dammit... What was he going to do now?! What was he going to do without Gilbert? The love of his life. His soul mate. The only person that cared for him. Remembered him. Loved him. And all of that was ripped away from his life just within a few hours. He was the most important thing in his life. The highlight of his day... And he just couldn't get over the fact that he was gone... Not yet, anyways.

He never knew his life could take a turn as terrible as this. Sure, there were a few bad moments in his life, but Gilbert dying was just plain cruel. What kind of sick game was this...?

"I want him back..." He cried softly, his body racking with sobs until his throat was in pain. He didn't care who saw him. Or heard him. He was alone, anyways. Always alone. He didn't have many shoulders to cry on. Not like he needed one. He really just wanted to be alone right now, anyways. "P-please come back..."

He began tugging at his hair and screaming, and the tears wouldn't stop falling. "Why...?! I want you back, please come back, please come back, please come back..." The last of his shivering sentence was choked off into sobs. He tried hard to control himself, he really did! But this was just too much.

* * *

_Two Weeks Later_

Matthew had attended his funeral and everything, but was still at the burial sight, even after everyone had left. His brother and a couple of his closest friends had been there and comforted him quickly before leaving. He didn't mind it. He was glad that he got to be alone with Gilbert right now. No one understood that this was probably the only way that he could be close to him ever again, so he would cherish this moment forever. Just as he cherished all the other moments.

Part of him wanted to forget. Forget about ever meeting Gilbert. About ever getting close to him. He knew this would happen... He just knew it. Whenever he got close to someone, something terrible would happen, just like this... But none of them had ever...died... He just wasn't used to this.

He reached out, placing his hand gently on top of his gravestone with a weak smile. "I miss you a lot..." He said softly. "I've been crying so much for the past couple weeks... I'm really sorry, I'm just not that strong..." He sighed and looked down at the dirt, placing a few flowers down by it. "I know the flowers won't last long... They'll die away... Kind of like you. So sudden, and stuff..." He said with a weak chuckle. "I think I've got insane without you here, Gil... But it's only because I miss you a whole awful lot..."

Matthew sighed softly and sat next to the gravestone, leaning against it slightly. "I just hope you don't mind me staying here for a while... I really don't have anything better to do..." He laughed softly. "I-I'm usually not this talkative, but whenever you're with me... In any way, shape, or form... I think I just lose control..." He said softly, staring down in his lap and twiddling his thumbs for a moment. "I'm...It's really quiet without you around the house, Gil... Sometimes I think I can hear your voice..." He buried his face in his hands after a moment. "I-I'm sorry, just whenever I think about it... I really miss you and I love you and I'll never get over you..." He clenched his fists together. "Y-you just left me so soon... We were thinking about getting married and everything...!" More tears streamed down his cheeks, but he quickly wiped them away, letting out a small shaken breath. "I just don't know how much more of this I can take... I'm not strong enough with out you... I cannot keep pretending that I am..."

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**So there you have it, folks! Chapter One of my ghost story. Mwuhahahaha. Reviews are very much appreciated, and I swear, it took way too long for me to write this. It's because I kept getting sad! But now it's really late at night, and I've finally gained the courage to just put up with the sadness and just finish the freaking story. Eheheh. Please let me know if I should continue, because I don't wanna just get more and more sad as I write the story for nothing pfft.**

**Anyways, bye~!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh, goodness, I just wanna curl up in a hole and die because this story is extremely hard to write. I keep thinking oh my god why would I kill Gil? Who would ever want to do that to such an awesome person? D: So, enough with my ranting and I'll get back to writing the second chapter ahahaha.**

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_Three Years Later_

Matthew let out a small sigh, his breath coming out almost fog like from the bitter cold of the winter. The snow gently crunched under his feet and the Canadian shivered, curling himself a little tighter in his light jacket. Damn, he forgot how could it was in the winter. He should have been used to it by now. He laughed weakly at the thought, shaking his head a little as his teeth clattered together.

The moon shone brightly, a few single stray whispy clouds covering it, making everything seem eerie. The streets were empty. All of the buildings were closed. Cars were parked by the curb, empty and covered in a nice thick layer of snow.

He sighed again, a little quieter this time as he stopped, staring up at the moon with a small frown. Just to think. Gilbert might be up there. Matthew was honestly never really all that religious, but maybe the Prussian was in Heaven by now. He shook his head, resuming to walking, small pools of light shining against the sidewalk

Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks because of a chilling voice he heard. It seemed so distant, but it was as clear as ever. And he instantly recognized the voice. It sent frightened chills down his spine as he desperately looked around, beginning to walk at a much quicker pace, but the voice only seemed to get louder.

His heart thumped loudly inside his chest and in that moment he just wanted to burst into scared tears, but he wouldn't allow himself. He wanted oh so desperately to call the voice off, but it just wouldn't stop replaying in his head!

_"This is your fault,"_ Gilbert's voice echoed. _"You killed me, Matthew. You let me go on that flight. You murderer. You killed your own husband."_ The words came out like spewing venom, but they also seemed sweet.

"N-no I didn't..." He mumbled, his voice trembling slightly in fear as tears began to well up in his eyes. "I didn't kill you, you went on the plane yourself." Now the tears were beginning to roll down his cheeks, and he couldn't stop them. Not yet.

_"No, it's your fault, Matthew. Not mine."_

"No!" He shouted.

* * *

Matthew sat up in his bed, his chest heaving drastically. He sighed softly in relief after a few moments, glancing over at his alarm clock, which was beeping loudly, much to the Canadian's annoyance. He sighed, reaching over and turning it off.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, realizing that it was just another nightmare. Still shaking in fear, he glanced out the window. Fresh snow filled his yard. He sighed dramatically, plopping back down in bed. He didn't want to go to college today. He didn't want to shovel the sidewalk and the driveway. He just wanted to stay in bed all day.

He was feeling a bit under the weather, anyways...

He sniffled a little, sitting up again as he stared down at the floor. He clicked his tongue a few times in boredom, finally deciding it was just best to face the harsh December air. He needed to go to the classes anyways, it was mandatory...

He slipped on his socks and shoes, not bothering to change out of his sweatpants and tee shirt. He put on a large hoodie, Gilbert's old one to be exact, and walked out the door, a bag on his shoulders.

He had considered living in the dorm, but decided against it. He was anti social and didn't really need a room mate, anyways. He liked to be alone. Or with Gilbert. Even though he was already dead. Gone forever.

* * *

Matthew sighed softly and walked back from his classes to his car. It had been a long day, and now it seemed that there were couples everywhere.

Truth was, Matthew hadn't been able to get in a relationship since Gilbert had died, and he didn't plan to get close to anyone for the rest of his life. He was just a waste of oxygen. That's exactly what he thought to himself. Why else would he be going through all the things he'd been through? Gilbert's death had broken him. Mentally. He was on a few prescriptions, most for sleeping and depression. He also had a therapist now.

He was trying really hard to make his life normal now, but it was extremely difficult since he was alone. He hadn't talked to his family in over six months, anyway. He figured they had just forgotten about him. Matthew would usually call them up to correct them, but it didn't even seem like it even mattered anymore...

He sighed and the snow crunched under his feet. Finally, he got into the car, stepping inside it. He stayed in there for a moment, the windows fogging up slightly. He shoved the keys into the ignition, turning them to the side, causing the vehicle to come to life. He then put the car in drive, beginning to go down the road.

The weather was crummy as always, the streets full of slush, and the sky full of gray clouds. Almost ice like rain was falling from the sky instead of snow. It was too warm for snow, apparently. He gripped the wheel tightly for a moment as his phone rang in his pocket. He sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling the device out and putting it up to his ear. "Hello?" He asked softly

_"Matvey, right?"_

He frowned a little. "Who is this...?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as he sped a little quicker down the road. "Sorry, I think you've got the wrong number." No one ever called him anyway.

There was a small chuckle on the other end. _"No, I'm pretty sure I have the right number. I'm in your Psychology class, remember? I'm Ivan."_

"Oh." Was all he said. He shrank slightly in his seat. "What did you want?" He asked after a few more awkward moments of silence.

_"I just heard news that your husband died a few years ago."_

He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it, thinking it would be a jumble of words that didn't make any sense. "Yeah..." He muttered into the other end with a small sigh as he pulled up into his duplex driveway and getting out of the car. "What about it?"

_"I thought it would be nice for me to comfort you about it. I _am_ your _neighbor_ after all."_

Matthew froze for a moment before quickly going inside and slamming the door. He had always known he'd had a neighbor, in the other half of his duplex, but didn't really want to figure out who it was. He didn't really care. He had moved out of the nice place that Gilbert and him were living in after he died and settled on a small one bedroom duplex that would suit him just find. "Y-you are...?" I'm so sorry, I never really noticed you, I've been cooped up in the house for a long time." He said with a weak chuckle as he kicked his shoes off before sitting down on the small couch. "But no thanks, I really don't need any help. I'm coping just fine with it on my own." He said, a small sigh following.

There was a small pause through the phone before the Russian finally spoke up._ "Alright, I'll see you in Psychology."_

"I guess... Bye." He muttered before quickly hanging up. How weird. How did he even get his number in the first place...? He rubbed circles into his forehead with a small sigh. He was really getting himself a headache. He'd had a sort of bad day, the weather only seeming to make it worse. And how Ivan got his number had also kind of stressed him out, but it was probably something simple.

He shrugged and got up from the couch walking towards the staircase. He immediately stopped as he heard footsteps. "H-hello...?" He asked softly. Two cold hands were placed on his shoulder, and in one swift move, he was yanked back, his backside hitting the floor with much force as he gasped for air, the wind being knocked out of him. He trembled and clenched his hands into fists, quickly backing away. Those were definitely hands. The hand to be. But why didn't he fall on his attacker...?

Suddenly, a foggy figure began to appear in front of him and Matthew just stood there, petrified beyond belief. His heart sank as he realized he was probably going crazy. An almost transparent and fluttering image of Gilbert appeared in front of him and tears began to well up in his eyes. "Gil..." He said softly, beginning to reach out to him.

The Prussian offered him a smile and reached out to him as well. He mouthed a few words, and it looked like a single tear was running down his cheeks.

_"I love you."_

The words were faint and slow and echoed into Matthew's soul, causing him to get emotional.

All he wanted to do was hug him. Kiss him. Cuddle with him. Make love to him. Just to be with him was enough. But he'd already disappeared.

Was this some kind of sink torture game? Was this punishment? Was Gilbert punishing him because he thought the Canadian killed him?

Matthew pushed himself against the wall, burying his face into his hands as he let out a few more shaken sobs until there was a few knocks on the door. He flinched and quickly wiped his eyes, though they were still red and full of tears as he opened the door.

Ivan stood there with a slightly concerned look on his face and a white scarf wrapped securely around his neck. "I heard a crash, is everything alright...?"

Matthew quickly nodded. "No, yeah. Everything's fine, there's absolutely nothing to worry about." He said with a small sniffle as he shrugged and nodded, quickly wiping away the last of a few stray tears.

"You're crying."

"I'm not crying!" He said with a small and reassuring smile. "I wasn't crying, I was just choking on some water and dropped the cup and it shattered. I cleaned it up, so it's all better now. Nothing that you should worry about." He was always pretty good at lying. When he was little his parents would believe most of his lies all the time.

Ivan sighed softly and nodded a little, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly for a moment or two before finally turning around. "Just remember, Matvey," He said, turning slightly, but not enough to face him and look him directly in the eyes. "If you ever need help, my door his always open." He said with a slight smile as he walked back to his side of the duplex.

Matthew sighed in relief, quickly closing the door. That was close. He hated dragging people into his problems, it made him feel selfish. It was a kind of selfish thing to do, but every once and a while someone _does_ need another to talk to. Matthew has a therapist, and that was definitely good enough for him.

_"Is he gone now?" _A voice suddenly said in the Canadian's head

He recognized it instantly. It was definitely Gilbert. He sighed, not seeming too surprised as he sniffled softly. "Y-yeah, he's gone...Gilbert's voice." He laughed weakly. "I'm crazy, aren't I?" He asked, collapsing on the couch.

_"You can call me Gilbert. I am him, you know." _The voice said, sounding a little insulted by him. _"I wish you could see me. One day you'll be able to and maybe you'll be a little happier." _He said with a small chuckle.

Matthew stayed silent, hugging his knees close to his chest as he simply stared at the wall. This had to be because of his medication. Voices... Voices of a certain Albino that he had fallen madly in love with and eventually married and had thought about adopting with him. So he ignored it. He didn't believe in ghosts, anyways.

And with a small wish, the voice was gone. For now.

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**I love ending chapters mysteriously, so much you can't even believe oh my gosh. So, anyways, please review and thank you so much for reading~**


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